Monday, December 10, 2007

Ok.. I dont know what it is but I am FREAKED!

First of all..... One of the struggles that we have in Australia is to understand American terminology.

In all things, not just crochet.

What Aussies call crisps, the US call chips.

Aust : Lemonade; US : 7UP.

Aust: Scones, US : Biscuits.

Aust: Biscuits, US : Cookies.

Then we have different clothing and shoe sizes which makes eBay shopping sometimes far more amusing than it should be.

For crocheters (and probably knitters too but I can't speak for them) there is the eternal struggle to understand yarn sizes and weights. Is worsted really equal to our 8ply? How many decimal places do I have to calculate to when switching from metric to imperial and vice versa? And then.. the sheer disappointment of seeing a beautiful beautiful yarn.. thats just not available to Australians.... :(

So when I see something like this .. not only do I not understand what the yarn is...

 aunt lydias yarn but I'm actually kind of glad that I don't.

The rug is ok for a given value of "ish", the zebra cushion - maybe - if you're into that kind of thing... I'm hoping the flowers arent a demonstration of heavy rug yarn but the green snake thing is really tipping the fugometer!

What's giving me the serious heebeegeebees is - I'm unsure what sort of recreational pharmeceuticals the creator of the Doll thing sitting on the bannister was ingesting at the time that led to the freaky whacked out expression it's got going on... Give that to a Child this Christmas, and you better be giving the parents some high-piled dosh to cover the therapy that freaked out munchkin is going to need.

This is perhaps why you shouldn't crochet whilst watching a Bette Midler Marathon?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Sexy Turkey Hat Day

For everyone who's celebrating Thanksgiving today!

And you read that right - the pattern designer actually calls this pattern sexy!  I
don't know about you but adding "sexy" to the description surely makes me want to
run out and buy this pattern, crochet it up, throw it on and work it in all its sexy glory!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

A Wall of P*nises

Unless of course you have one wicked sense of humor and
after reading what the artist has to say, it's clear he does. 

Click the photo to see bigger.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Nearly Halloween!

Thats the ONLY excuse I can find for making this:

Saw Scarf

Otherwise... its..... um...

(Thank you to Kelebek for this one!!).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Is it the Colour?

I dont know.

Maybe I'm completely out of the trendite life (hey - I work 280 km from the nearest town and even that aint so big!) but..

Somehow, this:

green crochet dress

Seems a bit wrong.

I know Babydoll is in, I know Minis are coming back but..

The colour is vaguely disconcerting and the neckline is sort of weird and you have to have thighs like a baby giraffe's to get away with the hemline.

 Maybe another colour?  in cream maybe  it would look better??

I dont know!!!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Halloween is no excuse...

Even with the best will in the world, and for all the fun that is involved in Halloween (which I do remember from 2 years of living in the States), I dont think you could justify making/wearing this:

Sweaters mother and daughter - yuck

Cant you just imagine the conversation between the gritted teeth?

Monday, October 1, 2007


Do these animals look happy to you?  I think they look miserable.  (the Shih Tzu doesn't count...they always look happy! hahaha)

This poor pug

Shame on you, Shih Tzu!

Tsk Tsk, Terrier!

These are made by a company "PUPPOOSE"  and they sell these in boutiques.  These things can't be distributing the weight evenly on the carriers' body.  And i wonder how well it holds up.

What's shocking to me?  $80 for these.  my oh my....

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Squid Scarf

For when you're in the mood to be strangled by a squid!
This one gives me the heebie jeebies.

Thanks to one of our readers for sending this in!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

who loves cake??


oh my.


lovely close up


omg this serves a purpose?

And it's all made of alpaca!  what a waste (in my opinion) of wonderful fiber.  Is it supposed to keep the china warm?

If you dig it, click HERE for the free Berroco pattern.  (damn you berroco!)

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Some people just never learn

Everyone remembers Bjork as the crazy lady that went to the Oscars wearing a dress that looked like a swan draped on her body. She should have been shot for that.

Does this crazy lady actually have fans? Fans that appreciate THIS?


Bjork must stand there in all this hideous crochet glory.


Is Bjork trying to shoot at people with her crocheted arm extensions? What is this? How are these pictures/crochet.wear done on purpose???

It gets WORSE!!


Oh my. There are no words for this. Why is she posing like that? is she trying to poop while using the stick for leverage?

My personal favorite:


Is she trying to throw crochet fireflames? Wait...she's trying to dance while her arms are on fire w/ crocheted flames. right? Felted flames? WTF??



I hope she didn't waste good quality yarn for these horrific things. Let's just all pray she used RedHeart or something. :)

I did not find these in Bjork's hidden stash of pictures-that-shall-never-be-seen-EVER.


These are on her website, for everyone to see and marvel at. ---> click on "2007" to see the rest.

Now I must burn out the section of my brain that saw all this. :)


Granny Square Dog Sweater

Every once in awhile it can't be helped - we'll be popping
by when we have a moment - see below for
another "what were they thinking?":

Thanks to the new blog contributors too - more
authors should keep the blog "fresh" and the fug flowing.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Pity the poor child...

Another coulrophobe in the making

who receives THIS from grandma!

firesheep here... didn't even need to purchase the magazine to find fuggage, the blow-in subscription card simply landed at my feet when I picked it up!

l00kie what the universe offered up! a fugly DEAD clown! (is that why so many people fear clowns?!? because they look like the undead.?... i've never understood it myself - but i honor and respect all phobias, regardless.)

btw, please, don't send me any crocheted spiders - k? =;)

~yours in arachnophobia (and fugliness), firesheep67 (new contributer to what not to crochet, AND what not to knit)

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Neck Tab Button Vest

Why would anyone want to wear a shapeless
square in some hideous colors and then button
it at the top and pretend it's a "vest"?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Dog Ponchos


Seriously don't do it - step away from the crochet hook! If you see
someone trying to make this, it might be time for an intervention.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

"Oinga Floinga" Hat

Does the video speak for itself? Thought so.

Thanks to one of our readers for sending this one in -
please don't poke your eyes out while watching it.

P.S.:  A couple of comments already asking if this is real -
seems to be!  There are more videos of more hats where
this came from AND a custom hat will run you $1,000 US!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Hyperbolic Crochet Motifs

Need an explanation? Thought you might and here you go: "Hyperbolic Crochet is the name given to applying a mathematical principle to crochet patterns. A hyperbolic plane expands exponentially from any point on its surface, always curving away from itself. Hyperbolic growth gives rise to the ruffled shapes of coral, kelp, and sea anemone. You can easily crochet a hyperbolic surface by increasing at a constant rate throughout the piece. Crocheting a reef is a great opportunity to try different yarns and stitches. The variety of textures and shapes will inspire you to expand your crochet boundaries." (quoted from Lionbrand)

Thanks to everyone who sent this in...yikes, just what level has Lionbrand sunk to with this one? Bottom of the ocean low? Not sure you can get much lower than that.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Bronx Bag

"A crocheted Bonsai bag is adorned with bobbles galore" -
quoted directly from the site. Bobbles galore...ya,
that's exactly what this looks like.

Thanks to one of our readers for sending this one in!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Luxury Hood

This looks like torture not luxury -
for both the wearer and the crocheter.
Love the "what I'm wearing sucks"
smirk on the model's face too.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Easy Bead-As-You-Go

Who exactly would wear this bright red thing on the front?
Doesn't it look a bit like a doily of some kind? None of
the other designs are particularly appealing either.
This is the kind of stuff that gives crochet a bad name.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Satyr Masks

Okay, these were made in the 70's and mostly
as artwork but some were actually sold so in
that respect, we had to post one of this designer's
masks. And here we all thought the doll faces were
freaky in the last post - I am quite sure this one
reaches a whole higher level on the freaky meter.

And a shout out to Garth over at Extreme Craft not
only for sending this in but for also mentioning
WNTC when he's lecturing. Go check his site -
he's got some freaky stuff too!

Friday, March 9, 2007

Bonnie Belinda Accessories

What the ? This one is enough to
scare someone right out of their skin.

Thanks MK for sending this one in!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Free Form Fall Hat

Just because you get to see all
sides of the fug (wait for it to rotate)
and because we haven't chosen anything
off "Amazing Crochet" for awhile.

They never seem to let us down
everytime we visit for a submission.

Monday, February 5, 2007

"Cool" Crocheted Hat

This one just makes me giggle - not sure if
it's the model's expression or the hat -
they both take the proverbial cake.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Tantalizing Toppers


No idea what this is or what it is for...have at 'er!

Thanks Adrienne for sending
this hideousness in.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Funky Felted Granny Bag

No matter how you dress the model, the oversized
granny square won't be "funky" or "urban chic".

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Furry Fingerless Gloves

Can you believe those are fingerless
gloves? Yikes. It looks like some
sort of caterpillar hopped up on
steroids swallowing her hands.

Yes, yes the scarf is pretty
bad too but I'm not sure what's
worse in this circumstance.

Sunday, January 7, 2007