Wednesday, November 26, 2008

For Your Consideration

The movie was originally called "Home for Purim" but the movie moguls changed it to "Home for Thanksgiving" to have greater appeal...

It's a snoot!

Anyway - that's my precursor as someone who has celebrated Thanksgiving three times (twice in the States, once in Little America in the Sandpit) and thinks... well.. it's kinda neat but ..



Is there any holiday you people WON'T Crochet for???

Anyway... in bringing you today's What Not To Crochet, I learnt that you should never trust a certain search engine (and actually , no, not Google) with the term "Turkey" when conjoined (HAH!) with Crochet.

This is the best...

Like the bolero!



Again - loving the bolero - why would you do a skirt???

But this isn't why you're here, really though.. is it?



It's ok...


I know.. you need a giggle!


And here's something for you..


I still can't understand what was so sexy about last year's Turkey Hat.


No way, No day.

And on this blog, we have railed repeatedly against Granny Squares.

I do not understand why people keep crocheting hats for their pets.


(you are so going to die...)

So.. WHAT Sugar-crazed over-fed haze would you have to be in,


to Crochet a Granny Square  Hat ...


For a Turkey?


  The Turkeys do not need hats


Lay Off the Candied yams, folks!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Lionbrand Gets Political

The reason this is in as a "What Not to Crochet" is because well...

It's just too funny not to draw your attention to it.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

 I give you:


 the Candidates for the


 **2008 US Presidential Elections !!!**


(Cue inspirational music!)


 There are so many thngs to say...

How about :

"Ask not  what crochet can do for you, But what you can do for Crochet?"


And before you ask.. No, they haven't done the Vice-President Nominees.

Which is sort of a pity actually, because, despite the fact it would be a God-awful WASTE of Yarn, to do a Crocheted Sarah Palin Finger Puppet

 it's *such* a missed Bunny Foo-Foo opportunity!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Resistance is Futile...

I saw this gem while searching for a toy pattern on Lion Brand's website.

i gasped as I saw this:


OMG.  it's a hideous crochet hat!  Doesn't it look crazy???  my first thought was....The Borg Queen

The Borg Queen
The Borg Queen

I guess the simliarities really lie in the facial expression.  But can't you see some nut crocheting this hat so the Borg Queen can keep her slimy bald head warm? hahahaha

If you really want that hat it is.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Forgive us for someone here has sinned...

why? why?

ugly ass swimsuit

I found this gem on etsy FOR SALE!  "Retro 80s swimsuit with a fashionable rose motif..."


you know what really kills me about this?  the model's pose.

"I can't talk to you right now...i look too good."

and not that my body is perfect (far from) but poor thing, she's bent so strangely you can see her love handles bunching up.


Monday, March 3, 2008

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Cronos...oh nos!!

The Lion Brand fashion show is guaranteed to be full of things not to knit and crochet.

This piece caught my eye.


I find the torso area...hideous. Doesn't it look like it's on backwards?

Then the floofy skirt looks like coral reef. or something. i'm so stunned.


This is a tunic.  Looks like someone got drunk/high and then decided to do something "constructive" with their gauge swatches.  this poor model looks like she got attacked.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Hi, my name is Undecided.

Ok.. I'm feeling my age today. I'm of the early 70's  vintage and so I thought I would find something thats in keeping.

I am not the world's biggest fan of the Granny Square.  I know they are great for using up scraps of yarn. I know they are great for comfortghans, scrapghans and "justhadtomakesomethinghans".

But I believe there are some places Granny Squares just shouldnt go.

and generally - Granny Squares dont survive an "On the Body Experience". They also should not be made up by a polarised committee of Colour-blind Chameleons.

Call me conservative, but I like toning colours with the occaisional contrast: Think Ferrero Rocher rather than Quality Street.

 So when I consider

Granny Square shirt

I'm actually in two minds.

First of all - I really like the concept, the top is fitted to give a bit of shape, and I like the heart-shaped neckline.

The problem I am having is... there's something really not right about it. And it's making my skin crawl.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Tampon Cozies

Meant to "disguise" your most personal feminine hygiene product -
you decide if it works or not.  The pink one is a uterus cozy with ovaries on it!

Thank you to one of our readers for this submission!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

And to head off in 2008!

I'm unspeakably relieved that despite a significant amount of searching I couldnt find Christmas Crocheted Fug.

I looked. I found some really darling pieces that made me wish I had more time in my life but.. hey..

What I did find.. and it produced a number of mixed reactions when I saw it, was this:

a hat apparently (get this.. it's a bargain at 3,000 pounds!!)

It's a Hat. It may LOOK like a sea anemone or the hyperbolic crochet reef.. but it's a hat. For 3,000 pounds???

It looks vaguely biological.

And painful....

And if anyone feels that they could make this and give it to  their significant other/partner/sweetie/husband (darling or otherwise) and not have it surreptitiously fed to the dog/cat/budgie, please give it a go, and send the photos!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and are looking forward to a fugfree (in every way!)  New Year!