What is it?

A neckwarmer or an earwarmer?
Trying to sell it two different ways
doesn't make it better. Yikes.

Thongs

The site selling the kit says
"one size fits most happy hookers!"
and after that statement I think I'll
let the rest of you have your say.

Thanks Jennifer for sending this in!

Hat of Horns

Um ya, because most crocheters like horns sticking
out of their hats. I particularly like the expression
on the girl with the green hat on - that says it all!

Granted, this pattern comes from
the Anticraft! website but please.

Thanks to everyone who sent this one in!

Cornucopia

Some post-Thanksgiving fug for anyone living in
the USA. I really do appreciate the sentiment
on this one but something about it is wrong,
so very wrong. Can you pinpoint it?

Thanks Maryann for this submission.

Tweed Off-Shoulder Dress

The perfect dress for when you never want to sit down or
bend over unless of course you are into flashing your bits.
Not to mention it looks like she threw on the front
door carpet you use to wipe your shoes on.

Thanks Leisel for submitting this one.

Speed Hook Shell

I think the model's facial expression
sums this creation up in one word -
ugh.

Thanks Abi for the submission!

Chained Woven Wrap

Is that tree tinsel I see hanging off this thing? Just because you can chain something doesn't mean you should pick garbage out of the bin and chain it.

I Can't Believe It's a Purse

It's all about the purses lately. Free form ought to be banned. Ya, "no rules, no gauge" is the best idea ever especially since this is the end result.

Flower Strewn Clutch Purse

Strewn? How about thrown-up on? The colours are horrid and the flower placements make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Definitely not for someone to carry around or maybe it's meant to go with a clown suit. Some of the flowers have some really odd shapes to them too...like the one in the lower left corner...what does that remind you of? :|

Thanks to Heidi from Germany for this submission!

Purple Braids Wig

This recent submission by a few readers really took the perverbial fug cake! What the h*ll? Lionbrand has gone off the deep end. Is this in preparation for Hallowe'en? I don't see any reference to the holiday so I guess not. Have they really sunk that low on pattern creation that they truly believe this is going to sell one of their yarns called "Incredible"? This one really should offend all crocheters - just how stupid do they think they are?

Thanks to everyone who submitted this one - quite a few readers found this one!

Broom Cover

Need to "gussy up" your broom? Here's the perfect little crochet accessory. I wonder how long it'd take to get the bright white yarn dirty? Oh right, what am I saying? Who cares ... it's to make the broom look purty ... just ignore me for the obvious functional question.

You have to buy this pattern - it's not even free and I'm sure nobody could figure out how to do it either - it looks so intricate.

Thanks to Timethief for this submission.

Dread Pirate Sam

This whole crochet amigurumi thing has really exploded lately and granted, there are some really cute ones out there and well-made ones but this one scares the be-jeebers right out of me! It is pretty creative, I'll give the designer that but it's all about the finer details when deciding what's good or bad amigurumi. Some of those finer details that pushed it over the edge:

• Buttons for eyes - tacky.


• Strings hanging off the belt - tacky.


• Two strands of who knows what in the hair - tacky.


• Weird drawn on mouth - tacky.

Some of you may like it and that's okay too - the pattern will be for sale soon if you're interested.

What Not to Knit

For all those who like to look at fug knits, we've created a sister site to What Not to Crochet in an effort to keep the fug going despite You Knit What?? closing their doors.

Please visit our "work in progress" at the following link:

http://whatnottoknit.wordpress.com

We don't expect to be anywhere near as funny as the girls at YKW but we'll do our best to keep bringing the fug!

Here's the button if you want it (please save and upload to your own bandwith - thanks!):

Larger Images

Hi everyone...sorry, didn't realize people were having trouble seeing the photos in the posts until I got a request to link to larger images...from now on you can click on the photos to see them larger! Thanks for letting me know!  I have linked the last post photo so you can see it better!

Ripped Jeans Jacket Kit

I *almost* thought this was cute until I looked closer and saw those tassle thingies hanging off the bottom and also looked a wee bit closer at the variegated colour combo - yikes! Not sure why there are so many little holes through it either - double crochets sometimes just don't work - sure, it's faster but come on!

The model scares me too... is that a she or a he-she? Her colour is off too - I guess you could blame the photographer and the person who edits the photos but geez, get a grip on colour - you surely can't blame the monitor settings.

And guess how much this kit is? $109.99...enough to choke and gag you - it needs 20 balls of yarn!

Fox Tail Ponchos, Purses or Wraps

A Bernat pattern book...all based on "a love affair with fur being timeless". Yup, that's what I said...timeless! Not sure how fur and fake fox tails made from yarn goes together. If you aren't sure about the cover design, I've included another just for good measure.

Funny how the second model looks rather petrified too...probably wishing the shoot was over so she could throw that wrap and purse in the corner and run for her life!

Thanks Erin for this submission...it's a good one!

Medallion Scarf

This thing is just plain wrong - so wrong. Just what sort of puke-y green colour is that anyways and why on earth would someone want some big huge "medallion" on their scarf?

Just where did the concept of appropriate width for scarves go? Seems her entire torso is covered by a scarf.

I think I'm going to hide now - this thing looks like it's about ready to engulf her head and I might be next.

Ponchette

To go with the outfit below in case you wanted to match! Doesn't the model look a bit mischievous like "geez, I really had to wear this to get the paycheque but wow, it's hideous isn't it?? But shhhhh, I won't say anything if you don't!"

The pattern says it will take about 2 hours to make - not sure it's worth that much time if this is the end product!

Puke.

Leave it to Lionbrand

Ya, there's no title for this pattern, however, it's contained in a pattern book called "Fur, Fur & More Fur" because as we all know, there's just not enough Fun Fur in the world!

And to insult all crocheters our there - it's meant for "fashion conscious crocheters".

Of course we haven't done any Fun Fur for awhile but this one deserved some attention.

Poor thing - it can't be comfortable to wear!

Gourmet Lisette Sweater Shawl

Lacy pineapple crochet? Doesn't this look like the designer grabbed her Granny's doily off the table and wrapped it around her shoulders and made it seem like it might be a shawl? And what is a sweater shawl exactly? I don't see anything "sweater-ish" about this shawl at all - it's just "doily-ish". Leave the doilies on the tables folks! That's where they belong! All those huge ruffles in the front too - what kind of effect does that really have except to add bulk to the wearer? I bet it gets caught in everything too.

Not a shock they couldn't find a live model to showcase this item - only the mannequin had no idea what was actually being worn. I bet all the live models ran in the other direction when they saw it.

Christmas Tree Wraps

What do you make of this wrap? It reminds me of Christmas tree tinsel. Just what kind of yarn is that? I'm not even sure how it's crocheted?

Stylish? Well, not so much...more like Christmas-y. It really should be wrapped around a tree as garnish to get the true effect it's looking for.

The model's big toothy grin won't distract us either...and neither will holding out the shawl to make it seem like it's actually nice.

I wonder if she got tangled in it at all either putting it on, holding it or taking it off?!

Pasties

Is it just me or does the model look terrified? And an 80s hairstyle too... I didn't realize crocheting in the round would lead to pasties...LOL! So bad and the site selling them says they are good for an "alternative to going topless"....well, what the heck, you're so close...how is a teeny bit of material going to make any difference? Ouch getting these on and off too...just what exactly do you use to hold them on? LOL!

Poor thing...she looks like she's just hating this whole photo shoot too...almost angry to have to paste these things on. I won't even get into the bottom half. One dip in the water and the whole thing is coming off!

Thanks to Kim for submitting this to WNTC!

Beaded Crochet Cap

On one hand this "cap" is not that bad and on the other hand, just how heavy would it be with all those beads? It's advertised as an "adventure to make and wear"...ya, I'm sure...you'd be busy looking at your toes to make sure it doesn't slide right off the back of your head! And just what occasion would you wear this for and with what type of outfit?

It looks like a lot of intricate work to create this thing too as it includes crochet thread in the kit. May as well just keep on going and make it into a doily large enough to fit on a table - probably a more appropriate place for this type of crochet.

Diagonal Illusion Vest

Quick, look away....this vest really is NOT as chunky as it looks and the colour combination really isn't that hideous! If you were wondering what the "diagonal optical illusion" was in this vest...I just told you! Is it just me or does the mannequin look 50 lbs heavier with this thing on? Maybe that's why the designer couldn't get a live model to show it - she didn't want to look that HUGE!

Funny thing though - it could almost be a likeable vest - if only it were in the right colours and had the right waist shaping. So close but yet so far.

Latticework Vest

Wanna look bigger than you are? Here's the perfect vest for you! It comes in all the regular sizes, plus sizes and petite sizes too...and no matter how you slice it, yes, you WILL look bigger than you are! Boxy vests that come way down past your butt are never flattering - they engulf your waist and make it disappear and you end up looking like a big square. Not a look I'm particularly after even if it is a free pattern!

I wonder how heavy it is to wear? Heavy weighted yarn isn't a great idea either...just adds bulk no matter what size you are and the bigger it is, the bulkier it looks!  Ugh!

Please don't shelve all the fashion dos/don'ts just because it's crocheted! 

Vests Made Easy

Is it just me or is that just a wee bit too much purple? And then to trim it with fun fur in purple too...including around the arms...well, why? I am quite sure this much fun fur wouldn't be "easy" to add either! How about "Vests Made Ugly"? A better title for this one for sure.

And it looks like the fun fur goes right around the bottom half of the vest too...my oh my, such a lovely addition. It may not be that bad actually without the fun fur. What do you think?

Thanks to Irina for submitting this one!

Perky Pom Hats

Ha ha!  Gotta love a hat with what looks like slugs dangling off the top of your head!  It actually wouldn't be too bad of a hat if you removed those weird things off the top portion of this hat.  Not sure what they are supposed to represent or how they are supposed to make this hat nicer?  It looks like a mistake to me...how are those things hanging anyways?  Are they crocheted right into the hat or added later?  Yikes!

Thanks to Christy for pointing this one out!

Tissue Box Covers

Of any kind really...including this one! I have never quite got the point of them...why would you want to cover up your tissue box? Is it that hideous that it needs to be covered? Or is it just an excuse to crochet something simple?

And yes, it is off Annie's Attic again...just to save you the click... :)

Mats

Wow, I haven't posted a mat before on this site but this one is just about right! Is it a bath mat or what? Another winner from Annie's Attic.

In fact, here's the link...may as well just go there from now on because they pretty much write this blog daily:

Annie's Attic - Pattern of the Day

Don't believe me? Seriously, check it out on any given day and you'll be sure to run into something that should be posted here.

Thanks Mary for submitting this one!

Week-Ender Jacket

I don't know what to say about this one except my eyes hurt. Even seated, you can see that it's adding bulk around her middle. Imagine the boxy-ness of this jacket if she were standing - not exactly a flattering look!

I don't even want to think about just how long it'd take to make all those colour changes throughout too...just not worth it for this end result.

Thanks again to WNTC readers for pointing out yet *another* Annie's Attic pattern of the day.

Feline Monitor Perch

LMAO! First of all, the name?? What is that? Feline Monitor Perch...hmmmm, say it again...Feline Monitor Perch....just how *exactly* do you crochet a "perch"? And why not just say a cat instead of a feline?? Fancy words does not make it better! LOL

Ah well, anything to sell a bit of yarn and to have a "pattern of the day"....LOL  Annie's Attic has outdone themselves once again!

Thanks to Daenna & Tricia for pointing this one out!

Beaded Bag Sets

Especially when it's a free pattern only available for one day! Here's a hint...if a pattern can't last more than a day, you really better scratch your head and wonder if it's worth it or not!!

In case you're wondering, these are a water bottle bag, cell phone bag and a palm pilot pouch with huge beads hanging off them. If the beads are bigger than the bags, uh, you better re-think that concept too. Yikes!

Patriotic Tops

Oh gosh, no no no no no no no no...this is so wrong. First it's in fugly acrylic then the stars are all distorted and look like starfish. Then there's the colour choices...oh my!

Cruel and unusual punishment for this teenager... A one shoulder design too...no no no...it's just not right. So wrong in so many ways.

Quick and easy? How about quick and tacky?

Sweatshirt Collars & Trims

And the point of all these would be? LOL! I especially like the one that looks like moss on someone's shoulders. Do we really need trims and collars on sweatshirts?  Not sure it's a fashion accessory many would be begging for...however, if you have some spare yarn in your stash begging to be crocheted, here you go!

Thanks to Jenny for submitting today's fug.

1 Penny Ponchos

Uh, ya, the leaflets for these two ponchos cost a whopping 1 cent each! Seriously, if you're looking through patterns and saw this one and it said "buy the yarn and these two leaflets will cost you 1 cent each" would that compel you to buy the yarn knowing you'd only have to pay a penny for these patterns? How exactly is this a selling point for the yarn? Bad marketing...badddd marketing...LOL

Is it just me or does the model look wider in the one with flowers on it?? Oh shoot, maybe she does in both! I thought black was supposed to be slimming? Wow - just what every woman wants - to make something to make her look wider!!

Fabulous?! Ponchos

Seriously? Fabulous? LOL! Who wants to wear a rug with tassels? And the bobbles? LOL!

And why is her skin that colour? Overtanned or bad picture? Yikes!

And since she is glowing red, what colour is that poncho exactly??!! :| Somebody sure doesn't know how to use Photoshop...LOL

Tinsel Necklaces

Is it Christmas already? Geez, I thought it was! A necklace that resembles tinsel...oh ya, a definite must-have! A free pattern too for any of you who really like it! As the pattern says - "add a cooling touch to a hot outfit with this stylishly unique aquamarine necklace"...ha ha ha...LOL! "Cooling" touch to a "hot" outfit?! Such a wonderful play on words! :|

Thanks to Kathleen for pointing out this fug!

Fur-Trimmed Eyeglass Case

I know what you're thinking...it looks like a piece of "doo-doo", however, it's not! Leave it to Lionbrand to come up with something where geez, you have to buy two skeins of their yarn to make some piddly little stupid looking case for your glasses! Not to mention it's the expensive yarn too. I'd suggest leftover yarn for this project and it'd only make sense...how much are you going to use anyways? About 2 yards of it? LOL! Brown is just so wrong for this case...soooo wrong in so many ways and then trim it with some lime green fun fur...oh dear! If they didn't put a pair of glasses sticking out of this thing, what would you think it is? :|

Fluff Wrap

Ha ha, hee hee...why am I laughing so much? Fluffy yarn in a wrap for Spring! I can't get over this one...ugly yet so funny too...lime green in fluff...crocheted into a wrap. Could it get any more hilarious than that? Looking fuzzy and hairy for Spring definitely must be an in and fashion forward look...can't wait to see it on the streets!

Oh, hey, it goes with the Lime Green purse! Tres chic!

As an aside, what's with the fake clouds and blue sky in the background? LOL!

Lime Green Purse

Ugh! To go with the hideous jacket & vest below? Yikes! Described as a "luxurious, beautiful purse made with so many luscious yarns like ribbon, mohair, eyelash, nylon, viscose and polyester..." Oh come on, that's too many yarn types and not in any way combined well either. The colour is lime, green, baby pink, mustard and brown - just the right colour combo to look like spit-up! I do believe my eyes are bleeding...those colours don't go together!

Pilar Bolero Jacket & Vest

Add artistic crochet flair to any outfit - hey, I didn't say it - the pattern did! Why is it that pattern makers think that people will buy their patterns when they use the ugliest coloured yarn possible to showcase it and trim it in some ghastly fun fur? Really, why? This is so ugly and the only place I can see it being worn is to a Hallowe'en costume party... Anywhere else, well, heads will turn. And the colour combo...oh my!

Scarf Poncho

Oh dear God, what the h*ll? Take a really hideous scarf and turn it into a poncho? Is this supposed to make crocheters want to make bigger projects once they've mastered scarves? There are some really bad elements in this scarf/poncho... firstly, these have got to be the ugliest acrylic colours I've ever seen and secondly, granny squares just aren't that attractive unless they're on an afghan! Oh ya, such a wonderful combination! Where the h*ll did they find these colours anyways? Not one of them is anywhere near nice and then put them all together, well, yuck!

Posy Toes Slippers

Hey, I found the perfect accessory for the "Gourmet Crochet Audrey" shrug posted below! Don't you think these slippers are divine? And the flowers on them are superb. What a wonderful design this is... and meant to decorate your toes with posies! Wow, I never thought of that before...so glad someone else did.

Made in an array of really tacky colours to suit any other fug piece you may have in your wardrobe too. I think I've found the perfect slipper!

Gourmet Crochet Audrey

Anyone want to look like they had confetti thrown up on their arms? Here's the perfect piece for you!! Meant to take the "chill" off your shoulders and arms. I'm not sure it'd be able to get rid of the chill you'd feel from the ugh of this piece. What a great way to stand out in a crowd that's for sure...if, of course, you want people pointing and laughing at you!

Thanks to Christy for this submission!

Thought for the Day

In case anyone's noticed, WNTC has removed the post about Josi's crochet design as well as all the comments to it because, let's just say, Josi decided she needed to call WNTC an a**hole and when it disintegrates to that level, here's some words of wisdom on what to do: 

Many of the things that get to you are not worth the energy and the trouble that you invest in them. Sometimes, the best response is no response at all.  Seek to rise above the petty dramas that don't do anyone any good. Keep in mind that where you put your awareness and your attention is where your life will go.  A sign of true strength is the willingness to completely let go of the things that don't really matter.

WNTC's future policy is to never include any of Josi's designs on this site nor have them mentioned here - they aren't worth our time.

Squid Hats

Tentacle fringe...oh so lovely! And looking like a squid...the look we're all after I'm sure! The model is desperately trying to hide too...can't blame her! Tentacle fringe over one eye is so appealing too... Can you believe this hat made the cover of a magazine? Yikes! And what's with the strings hanging off the sides? So wrong in so many ways.

Thanks to one of our new readers, Maryann, for the submission!

Fiesta Misty Boa & Hat Set

What's with scarves errrr, I mean "boas" these days? This is yet another rendition of the one previously posted although I'll give it a little bit of credit for being a "pattern" at least... it's not just a bunch of loops. I don't get the idea behind scarves that look like they're engulfing your neck... how easy would these be to wear? Not to mention heavy!

The matching hat doesn't help matters at all either. Who came up with this colour combo? Fiesta? Ya, whatever!

Loopy Bolero "Scarf"

Lionbrand really makes me scratch my head over and over...check out this latest "crochet" pattern. I don't know how many times I have to say it but just using a crochet hook to slip stitch loops of yarn around itself is NOT a pattern!! It's totally insulting to anyone who crochets and obviously is just a way to sell their yarn...just how *stupid* do they think crocheters are? And not to mention you have to spend over $30 US to get the required yarn for this thing. It looks like some weird yarn monster is eating her neck. Why not just unravel the yarn around your neck a few times, forget the "loops" and just say you've made yourself a scarf??!! It'd be simpler than buying a crochet hook to slip stich some loops that's for sure!

Thanks to everyone who emailed this one in...quite a few to mention actually!

Couch Dresses

Seriously, what the h*ll? I've had a few people email this one to WNTC...is this for real? Can't be!! If it is, well, it belongs in the WTF file...and believe me, anything that belongs in the WTF file is seriously bad...beyond hideous...in fact, just downright NOT RIGHT. It can be customized to fit you and any couch or loveseat! Seriously! You don't believe me do you? You even get two flower broaches which will be such a wonderful accessory to this monstrosity that they will definitely distract from the fact that you're in a freakin' COUCH DRESS!! I don't know what else to say...I'm at a loss for words on this one...so I'll just end it with WTF??!!!

This brain aneurism submitted to WNTC by: Karen, Donna, Peach & Ronnie...thanks!