Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale... a tale of a fateful trip...
That started from a frosty farm and went significantly WRONG when I misread the itinerary that my EA printed out for me, and I’m now marooned in our national airline’s Business lounge, soaking up a VLLB* and the Flying Marsupial’s free internet.
Noting that the flow on effect of my *ahem* misreading is ... get this: 5 hours.
(And it gets noticeably worse)
My two yarn-based Travelling Projects? ........................................................... are in Checked Baggage**.
Ye-aaaaah.
I'm bored out of my skull at the 2 hour mark.
So I'm industriously warping the minds of my fellow Club squatters going through my collection of photos of items that defile the sacred name of Crochet, making muttering noises to myself: No, no, HAHAH - no, can't use that, just done a Bikini, no, no, used already, no, <WARNING!! OUT OF VLLB ERROR> no, no, no - Ooooh.
And then I found the topic for today.
Russian Crochet. (If you're a Lolcat fan - there's a whole "In Soviet Russia" line to go down. See you when you get back)
Now - first of all - there is a LOT about the array 0f Russian Crochet magazines to adore.
Ok... yes, they're in Russian and no, I don't know why she's standing like that...
Yes, the majority of it is in Thread.
Which, for some people, is like admitting that you commit specific acts with chickens.
However dot dot dot
Some of the creations are just divine and the biggest safety tip is not to allow your mother to see them lest she get ideas for a nifty throwover.
On the other hand....
When you look a bit closer... or you swap a plate of home made meringues for a translation of said Russian text by a Ukrainian workmate's Grandmother....
You'll notice that unlined Irish lace tops are, whilst delicate and gorgeous, veritable gateways for nipples to poke through.
(you will see if you click on the link... for the sake of Innocents everywhere, I've made it a thumbnail - you can click at your own risk of having to explain to whomever)
Edited to add: for some reason the thumbnail thing didn't work. i'm SORRY! Okay!!!
And my god - a lot of you tried clicking it....
* Vodka, Lemon, Lime and Bitters.
** Dont start about Airline regs please. In the Sunburnt country, land of Sweeping plains - we are not allowed to travel with pointy things in carry-on. I have travelled with guns, have travelled with diplomatic pouches, and am NOT allowed to travel with anything so benign as a 4mm Bamboo hook in my backpack. Go figure.
Where's the link? I am missing it.
ReplyDeleteI think she's dancing rather than standing. That's only a guess because the word at the bottom of the publication is "discotheque."
ReplyDeleteWe want a link...Or to be able to make the thumbnail bigger.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm missing the link, too. I've just rolled my mouse over everything in the post, making me look like more of a weirdo than nipples would have.
ReplyDeleteRussian crochet is an artform unto itself. It has to be the most beautiful, intricate and intimidating thing I have ever looked at. I love to do thread work. Sadly my fingers and eyes don't play togther as well as they used to. Even when I did thread I never had the balls (pun not intended) to attempt something this detailed. I tried to get the picture to enlarge so I could see detail but nothing happened. I have nobody that I have to explain anything to and if I did then I think saying "Them there are tits" would pretty much cover it. Why do we feel so inclined to enlarge the picture so we can see nipples and then make comments about how ghastly it is that we can see the aforementioned nipples? Probably goes right along with why we all inhale more deeply when someone says "Something stinks". I love Russian crochet. I'd probably be envious of Russian boobs if I got a good look at them.
ReplyDeleteYeaaah I knew you'll post about Russian crocheting magazines someday )
ReplyDeleteAbout the girl in a weird pose.. the title is "Disco by the sea" so she's dancing.. I guess
The majority of patterns I've seen here in Russia are truly ugly both clothes and toys.
i.e.
http://maxilee.by.ru/images/gal1/02.jpg
http://www.uzelok.ru/kupalniki.html
http://www.uzelok.ru/children_gall_item1780.html
http://kru4.com/swimsuit2.htm
*pout* can't find the link either. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteWhat link?
ReplyDelete*pouts*
I'm still looking for the link, too.
ReplyDeleteI just feel bad that all they have to crochet with is thread, apparently.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I just clicked on the link with children in the address, and that is so disturbing-- in a "Tots in Tiaras," Jon Benet Ramsey, selling the children on the internet for sex slaves sort of way. The pictures in the sidebar (except for the ugly poncho) were pretty (if a bit trashy), but that dress on a child is just creepy! "Here Uncle Lester, I'm giving you Tatiana for Christmas, enjoy!" ICK
ReplyDeleteI want to make some of this thread crochet stuff too, but will line them or wear a tank under them. A linning is the best way though, you never have to worry about anything showing, oh and wear under wear of course, there are some more lovely pictures on flikr or this type of thing.
ReplyDeleteYour post inspired me to look for some of those Russian crochet magazines... found a dealer on Etsy who sold them... ordered one, and it came today.
ReplyDeleteYes, some of the fashions are a bit "over the top", and stereotypical Russian farmwomen in babushkas probably would never wear any of them, but to the magazines'/designers' credit-- 1) the models don't look anorexic, bored, or like they are heroin addicts desperate for a fix, and 2) they wear undergarments with those lacy creations-- sure, sometimes they are wearing black bras with white lace tops, but, hey, no nipples nor pubic hair are showing!
Well, I guess the comments just go on and on. I had no idea about the Russian crochet. Finally some designs that are truly lovely using all those crochet flowers.
ReplyDeleteMy question is are the patterns charted? I have books in Japanese, Korean, and French. I can read the French a little bit, but nix on the Korean and Japanese. But they are all charted patterns, so I can figure out most of the patterns.
Good luck to anyone who tries them out.
Joy-- Re: the Russian crochet patterns (in Duplo magazine)
ReplyDeleteThe individual motifs are in symbol crochet charts, but there are a few symbols I can't quite figure out. There are few, if any, assemblage instructions, guage indications or (for flat work) # of starting chains, unless those are just text (which I can't read).
It looks like most of the dresses are in #10 crochet cotton or maybe lace weight yarn; some of the "winter" items/stitch patterns are made with a slightly fuzzy yarn.
I especially love the outfit on that poor little girl in the 3rd link! Looks like some sort of rare Russian skin disease!
ReplyDeletei think i see what she is refering to..if you look carefully above a pink flower on the right side as u look at the pic, then u got the holes all above the flower and then some leaves..if u seriously wish to see her nipple i think that's the spot..lol..dunno why she wasn't wearing a bra, cuz it wouldn't have hurt any to do so..lol
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty stuff for the most part. It reminds me of Irish Crochet gone large. I'm teaching myself Irish Crochet and I think I could do one of these if the urge hit. My daughter in law would love this stuff, but of course I'm not going to spend weeks making something that will be tossed into the washing machine and then dryer. Actually, since the motifs are so large it might not be that bad. They've got to be using at least size 10 thread, and I've used 30 and had no problems...with some strong glasses!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. I love the Russian crochet (truly didn't care about the link one way or the other but my boyfriend has been clicking all over for fifteen minutes trying to find it still. lol)
ReplyDeleteI love thread crochet, I only wish I was as talented as I've seen, and like pictured in your post.
BTW - that ugly green and pink doggie sweater? I did almost that to my poor little Chihuahua. Yea, I'm one of those. You could probably throw one (or more) of my projects on your blog of what not to crochet, the Chihuahua sweater being at the top of that list. lol. (poor doggies!)
I know the author of a beautiful pink jacket. She is the master from Ukraine Miroslava Gorohovich. You can see its fantastic products here http://www.livemaster.ru/Miroslava1
ReplyDeletedo you please tel me the crochet explanation symbols
ReplyDeletex =
T=
I =
Cc=
V=
VT=
VI=
A=
AT= thank you for your help
Best you could edit the post subject title Ok – Crochet it… If you can! What Not to Crochet to more specific for your subject you make. I liked the blog post even sononetheless.
ReplyDelete