This "free" pattern is insulting...not only because anyone who has crocheted for even the slightest bit of time can figure out the "pattern" without looking at it...duh, single crochets over and over and over from a chain...how hard is that...but for the very fact that you are crocheting a top that shows your nipples! Of course, this one is taken from the same site as the pointy boobs top posted yesterday and there are quite a few really bad pictures in this way on this site. From pointy boobs to show your nipples to "I can tell you just had a bikini wax" photos, this site has been rated TACKY by WNTC. I decided not to post the "just had a bikini wax" photos because they are just bad....really bad!
Sunday, February 5, 2006
"Show Your Nipples" Tube Tops
This "free" pattern is insulting...not only because anyone who has crocheted for even the slightest bit of time can figure out the "pattern" without looking at it...duh, single crochets over and over and over from a chain...how hard is that...but for the very fact that you are crocheting a top that shows your nipples! Of course, this one is taken from the same site as the pointy boobs top posted yesterday and there are quite a few really bad pictures in this way on this site. From pointy boobs to show your nipples to "I can tell you just had a bikini wax" photos, this site has been rated TACKY by WNTC. I decided not to post the "just had a bikini wax" photos because they are just bad....really bad!
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Is that a 1980's spiral perm???
ReplyDeleteIf I was going to all the trouble to crochet a top to show the world my nipples I'd at least be creative about it.
wish you would link the site. i have an urge to see the horrible creations.
ReplyDeleteI tracked this site down and sorely wished I hadn't! Who the hell crochets CULOTTES???
ReplyDeleteThe bathing suits made me run away screaming.
Google the IMAGE "tube top" + crochet. Then you'll hate yourself for the rest of the day.
I just noticed that this designer lives just 30 miles from me. Perhaps I should go over and have a little talk with him. LOL Or, beat him over the head with a crochet hook.
ReplyDeleteI think the designer has it in for women. Everything on this site either makes them look fat, stupid, or uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'd be uncomfortable too if I was wearing a thick crocheted acrylic thong.
*dry heaves*
Awwww!!! This is just too sad. I'm mean it's really sad. What horrible designs! I wonder if anyone buys the patterns. Horrible!!!
ReplyDeleteI am VERY disturbed by this person's website!!! It makes me feel like the "models" he's using are actually being kept as slaves, forced to crochet this crap, and then to wear it in front of the camera. Shudder...
ReplyDeleteI'm also amazed that someone actually wasted yarn/time on this stuff. Did you see the patriotic top?!!? Almost as bad as the rainbow sweater next to it. Gag!!!
Aren't holes the problem with most crocheted items? I like the look of crochet for granny square accents and for all sorts of things. (Yes, I like granny squares!). But I've never seen a crocheted sweater that didn't have holes.
ReplyDeleteI haven't ventured over to the site myself (I just ate), so I wonder if the designer and photographer are the same person. If so, it's just a matter of really really really bad eyesight. If not, uh... I can't think of any other good reason how stuff can be depicted so badly. *shudder*
ReplyDeleteWow....this pic is actually not bad compared to a lot of stuff on that site.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying not to be mean, because it looks like the guy is actually trying to do something good, and the models are just regular people off the street. Some of them would look fumpy is something that actually fit them (and covered them) nice, just because they don't have the self esteem to project in the first place. That site could keep WNTC going for weeks!
Okay I take back my wow....holy sh%t!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crochet-clothes.com/images/1000/1017card.jpg
OH MY GOD IS RIGHT!!!!!!! I mean the pick here is pretty bad, but then I clicked on the link that HappyHooking provided and almost lost my supper!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, i love your site. It is my all time favorite online for a good laugh and to unwind after a long day. Keep up the awesome insights (Or should I say frights)
Oh.My.Goodness.
ReplyDeleteWhile not everything on that site is hideous, you could keep up daily postings here for a good 2 months just from that site.
Way to many things with no shaping at all... completely unflattering.
Way to many things that SHOULD have been worn with something (NOT just an undergarment) underneath.
Way to many things that really fall more into the lingerie category (bad lingerie at that, but still... no one besides their husband should ever see them like that... EW!). So many of those things (including the one you pictured yesterday) that look like a naked woman with odd censor blobs edited in afterwards. Not what I look for in an item of clothing.
There's even one that looked like a hospital gown gone bad. It's listed under loungewear. Because, yeah... that (and most of the rest of them, to) are exactly what I think of when I imagine sitting around in comfy clothes. Uh-uh. Suuuuure.
Funny, but I never thought to crochet ANYTHING that, when done in fabric, requires the presence of elastic. And even the softest of yarns would be so freaking itchy against bare flesh, so what's the point of this garment again?
ReplyDeleteAt least , not in a light colour anyway. . .
"Glad to see you have found your way to this page.
ReplyDeleteThis page has more information about the modeling opportunities for my site."
hahahahahaha
http://www.crochet-clothes.com/images/600/604card.jpg
ReplyDeleteThat lady scares me. I'm beginning to think the models are out of this guys' trailer park.
I have to laugh - I'm such a lazy crocheter that my immediate reaction to this was not, "Ugh, how disgusting!" but "Ooh, I could make that!" Of course, I wouldn't actually WEAR it, but really, isn't it nice to know that I could if I wanted to? It would look great when I start that second job as a streetwalker. ;-)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crochet-clothes.com/images/1100/1117card.jpg
ReplyDeletenope this one is worse wayyyyy worse
Just imagine all the pulling and adjusting you'll have to do as you walk down the beach in that Strings Bikini. The back looks like it might stay where it was, but the front...holy crap...
ReplyDeleteShould I even dare make a camel-toe comment? Nope. Wasn't me.
Hey, Tini---Did you notice that this model's getting rather too much (dare I say it?) exposure lately? Not only that, but the link you cite appears to have her wearing the bottom BACKWARDS!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, these designers need to figure out that spending a little extra for a better-quality model means less distraction from the crappiness of their output. The trailer trash vamps only increase the amount of criticism, ya know?
So where would someone where that to? Yeah, I can see me strolling into work one day with that wonderous creation on.
ReplyDelete"I would first like to clarify a few things; this is not an offer of employment. This is a hobby for me. I do, however pay minimal cash amount ($100 per session) to compensate someone who has the look and/or cooperation I am looking for. Some of the ladies model for photos, most for the clothes, and some just for the fun of it. Now with that information out of the way, read on if you would like to learn more. If not, thank you for at least checking out my site. Please tell other people about it-not only for the model opportunity, but also for the patterns."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crochet-clothes.com/Modeling_Information_Page.html
Can you think of a better way to become a lampshade made of human skin?
Quote: "compensate someone who has the look and..."
ReplyDeleteShe was actually seeking out women who look like that? Granted I don't look any better, but I'd never sign up to be a 'model'!!
The guy clearly has a crochet fetish. He likes to design little knickers to dress women in while he photographs them. How happy do the models look? He's the only one who's having fun. I'm sure somewhere else on the net you'd find his *uncensored* photos of his niece in a crochet chainmail flag...
ReplyDeleteI broke down and visited the site. Two things top my creepy list: up-close shots of the bikini cups (and the loving detail he uses to describe stitching them) and this line: "I would like to make it clear that I do not use motels."
ReplyDeleteI feel bad: the guy is trying to be legit here and honestly loves his hobby. But I still think, and now feel confirmed with some of those color choices, that he is legally blind.
And legally creepy.
If you want to see something really creepy, hit the "The Models" link and take a look at the background design on the page--shudder. But, on the upside, you, too, can be a model! **shudders harder**
ReplyDeleteThose hypnotic eyes are compelling me to become model for him.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.crochet-clothes.com/images/1200/1220_sarah.jpg
ReplyDeleteThis one looks like its got a seam right down the middle of the crotch, just in case the camel toe look doesn't happen on its own. He's also got "bike length" shorts. *cringe*
So are we really sure this guy's selling crochet patterns and not photos? It could be some weirdo crochet-fetish site and we just don't have the time (or maybe the password) to find the page that sells the "good stuff"..
ReplyDeleteThat would make more sense than for these to be serious patterns.
Her Majesty went to that Web site and threw up in her mouth.
ReplyDeleteNow she must seek treatment for PTSD.
Sites that like make a good argument for censorship.
Very truly yours,
EB
This one's really purty with all that fun fur. http://www.crochet-clothes.com/images/1300/1314card.jpg
ReplyDeleteOoops. My dyslexia is up showing. What I meant to write in my last post was:
ReplyDelete"Sites like that make a good argument for censorship."
But you all knew what I anyway meant, didn't you.
Truly yours very,
BE
OK, I didn't intend to space my last comment out like a retard. But the link is really purty with all that fun fur.
ReplyDeleteare you out of your mind that is even more uglylier SERVERINA wow did you design this im sorry thats really bad thats my opinin
ReplyDeleteWho the hell said I designed it or liked it? I was being sarcastic.
ReplyDeleteIt was ugly and pointless like everything else this guy designed.
*death stare*
My personal favorite is the "side high" dress, I just wish it came in a crop top version. Come to think of it I was wondering if there is a coordinating crotchless panty? Is that what they mean by the Devils Handiwork? Honestly, these patterns are so bad they have to be the work of an Al Quaeda operative if not Bin Laden himself.
ReplyDeletewell orry i dident know you were kidding yousounded like you reallly did like it soory
ReplyDeleteYe Gods and little fishes! ARRRRGH I should never have looked.
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL LOL LMAO!!!!!!!!! OHHHH MY GOD, THAT SITE IS SO WRONG! I AM BLIND FROM THE GROSS WOMEN AND THE THE CRAPPY DESIGNS! LOL
ReplyDeleteJust happened to visit this site again (I know! I know! LOL). It looks like he's replaced almost every single model with a mannequin now. And, the bikinis/suits have been removed.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim...that's seriously too funny! He must've received a ton of complaints perhaps? ;)
ReplyDeleteI visited the site. Though most of the designs were ugly, I didn't hate everything. Crap. Now I'm going to have a complex that I have no style.
ReplyDeleteWas in for some laughs, but this one makes me wonder, hey a man designed this one right? She looks stoned, no women in there good mind would wear this!
ReplyDeleteOh, I get it its not finished, make it a halter top and chrochet some spring flowers in two rows across the b**bs that should work...
ReplyDeletethis site has been taken down. i came across it after he replaced the models with mannequins, and yeah, they were awful, but i thought i could find a way to make the tops myself (but better). so i bookmarked the site to come back for ideas. now the site is "temporarily disabled." p.s. i didn't realize it was a guy posting those, but the tackiness should have tipped me.
ReplyDeletenow I'm a bit offended by melanie's comment. So i guess you are saying guys make tacky designs. First off, I crochet and all my stuff is custom work as per request of the individual. I've made calf length dresses, cocktail dresses and even sweater vests for my boys and of course anything my other half. you gotta think maybe the girl thought the top was cool, and he just made it. Took him what a few hours to do that at most. Kinda like asking a girl if she is a victorias secret type of girl or a fredricks of hollywood type of girl.
ReplyDeleteHmm, don't know really what to say about this one.
ReplyDeleteSo, went to have a look at the site only to find it shut down, but did find his new one, and I must say OMG WHAT IS HE THINKING!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWould someone here please answer a question? If your fellow-bloggers told you the site was tacky, tasteless, and trashy, why did all of you go back to look ? And some went more than once! Makes me wonder what standards you have, if any. Sorry, I just don't understand why you have to run down other humans. Or is this a venting site for second-raters?
ReplyDeleteGrandma
Oh, BTW, I got here trying to find a good crochet site. Wrong place, no doubt. Grandma
ReplyDelete[...] mind you. There is a lot of great and funny posts there - among others a review of the fantastic “show your nipples” tube top. If you want a laugh - go have a look. I’m still giggling [...]
ReplyDeleteWhat's the link to that site? I'm dying to see the rest of the, um, projects.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of boobies...Why oh, Why make this one:
ReplyDeletehttp://lasirena.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/27/mom_phptos_2008_025.jpg!
i am going to be a member of your party. i take part in this site
ReplyDeleteAhhh haha! This is so, so trashy in so, so many ways. I mean, white crochet tube top??? And c'mon the shot itself looks like it was taken out of a porno - sorry, I had to go there.
ReplyDeleteIn all my life I've never come across this item at any store
ReplyDeleteI think he's just too lazy to sew in a thin layer of skin color fabric and make the product right mainly because he's taking a quick snapshot of it and not selling it, but selling the pattern. Honestly in the modeling world we are told not to wear bra's when modeling apparel because it adds extra bumps and edges sometimes. Don't ask, none of my bras do this, but some models aren't so bright and wear dollar store bras that warp in the wash.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he makes sure that these clothes are fitted to these girls, half of the items are falling off the girls.
I can't believe that someone actually posts a pattern like that! You are right, it is in poor taste, and not creative at all!!
ReplyDelete[...] you. There is a lot of great and funny posts there – among others a review of the fantastic “show your nipples” tube top. If you want a laugh – go have a look. I’m still giggling [...]
ReplyDeleteomg, i just found your website and as soon as i saw the name of it, i wondered if you had seen those beeeyoootiful designs, i came across them earlier this year and still shudder at the thought of it! lol
ReplyDeleteall those people complain or criticize others should look back and sweep ther own door step first.
ReplyDelete[...] more than usual), 1700 people swing past a day. Some posts, usually the ones with a certain Braille factor in the cleavage department, attract more viewers than others, the Octopus Hat being a leader [...]
ReplyDeleteI only wish I could "insult" the world with my nipples in a tube top but my rack is so big tube tops won't stay up. But seriously... if you got it flaunt it. You'll spend enough years of your elderly life being a wrinkled old dried up sagging bitter prune who hates everyone around them. Life's too short to be a repressed jealous prude that can't say a nice thing about a woman that's prettier than you are.
ReplyDeleteAnd you just HAD to post this right? I was looking for a free crochet pattern for my dad's B-day and came accross this crap. You posting this image makes you no better than the original site it came from. Let them be heathens, but don't spread the disease by showing their image, out of site, out of mind. Thanks to this reposting it makes it so that anyone who sees it now has this image stored in their subconscious, thanks a lot.
ReplyDelete