Lionbrand Gets Political

The reason this is in as a "What Not to Crochet" is because well...

It's just too funny not to draw your attention to it.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

 I give you:

 

 the Candidates for the

 

 **2008 US Presidential Elections !!!**

 

(Cue inspirational music!)

 

 There are so many thngs to say...

How about :

"Ask not  what crochet can do for you, But what you can do for Crochet?"

 

And before you ask.. No, they haven't done the Vice-President Nominees.

Which is sort of a pity actually, because, despite the fact it would be a God-awful WASTE of Yarn, to do a Crocheted Sarah Palin Finger Puppet

 it's *such* a missed Bunny Foo-Foo opportunity!

Resistance is Futile...

I saw this gem while searching for a toy pattern on Lion Brand's website.

i gasped as I saw this:

ACK!!!

OMG.  it's a hideous crochet hat!  Doesn't it look crazy???  my first thought was....The Borg Queen

The Borg Queen

I guess the simliarities really lie in the facial expression.  But can't you see some nut crocheting this hat so the Borg Queen can keep her slimy bald head warm? hahahaha

If you really want that hat pattern...here it is.

Forgive us for someone here has sinned...

why? why?



I found this gem on etsy FOR SALE!  "Retro 80s swimsuit with a fashionable rose motif..."

Fashionable???

you know what really kills me about this?  the model's pose.

"I can't talk to you right now...i look too good."

and not that my body is perfect (far from) but poor thing, she's bent so strangely you can see her love handles bunching up.

sigh.

How to punish a Cheating Man...

I don't think I can find the words to describe this...

I'll just show you instead:

Cronos...oh nos!!

The Lion Brand fashion show is guaranteed to be full of things not to knit and crochet.

This piece caught my eye.

I find the torso area...hideous. Doesn't it look like it's on backwards?

Then the floofy skirt area.....it looks like coral reef. or something. i'm so stunned.

This is a tunic.  Looks like someone got drunk/high and then decided to do something "constructive" with their gauge swatches.  this poor model looks like she got attacked.

Hi, my name is Undecided.

Ok.. I'm feeling my age today. I'm of the early 70's  vintage and so I thought I would find something thats in keeping.

I am not the world's biggest fan of the Granny Square.  I know they are great for using up scraps of yarn. I know they are great for comfortghans, scrapghans and "justhadtomakesomethinghans".

But I believe there are some places Granny Squares just shouldnt go.

and generally - Granny Squares dont survive an "On the Body Experience". They also should not be made up by a polarised committee of Colour-blind Chameleons.

Call me conservative, but I like toning colours with the occaisional contrast: Think Ferrero Rocher rather than Quality Street.


 So when I consider



I'm actually in two minds.

First of all - I really like the concept, the top is fitted to give a bit of shape, and I like the heart-shaped neckline.

The problem I am having is... there's something really not right about it. And it's making my skin crawl.

Tampon Cozies

Meant to "disguise" your most personal feminine hygiene product -
you decide if it works or not.  The pink one is a uterus cozy with ovaries on it!

Thank you to one of our readers for this submission!