Saturday, February 18, 2006

Ole Burgundy "Beastly" Purses

This was actually named "Ole Burgundy Beauty Purse" but I felt the need to omit the word "beauty" and replace it with "beastly"...I'm sure you can see why! But what a great idea of a handbag --- hey, if you throw up on it, nobody will notice!! So what the heck? Just take it out with you on your next drunken party and just use it as a barf bag...for all your drunken friends...I'm sure they will appreciate it and your handbag will still retain its original "beauty".

What a terrific bargain for $48 US!!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

No Purpose "Rippled Macaroon" Poncho

Can you see it on her face? She's pursing her a lips a tad...probably trying not say "dear God, get this thing off me!!". Selling a pattern on the statement "fits any body shape" is NOT a good sign. Really...if that's your only marketing "tool", you're in trouble!! I call this a "no purpose" poncho because, well, seriously, what purpose does it serve if you wear it? It's ugly, it's unstylish and it really looks like you just sorta threw it on because you weren't sure what else to do with it. And what's up with those tassles? Geez, they'd get caught in everything. It really does nothing for this model's outfit...again, no purpose. So that leads to another topic...if your crochet really has no purpose, don't do it! Crocheting is not to do just because you can do it...seriously, do you choose your clothes that way? I just have to put something on so I'll just put whatever on. I don't think so. Same principle applies to crochet - it really should have a purpose when you make it! 

Monday, February 6, 2006

Focus Comments Please

Just one thing...those of you commenting and calling each other names, I am not approving those comments...stick to the topic please...this is a site about what not to crochet...not what to call each other...back to the fug topic please. Thanks!

Sunday, February 5, 2006

"Show Your Nipples" Tube Tops

This "free" pattern is insulting...not only because anyone who has crocheted for even the slightest bit of time can figure out the "pattern" without looking at it...duh, single crochets over and over and over from a chain...how hard is that...but for the very fact that you are crocheting a top that shows your nipples! Of course, this one is taken from the same site as the pointy boobs top posted yesterday and there are quite a few really bad pictures in this way on this site. From pointy boobs to show your nipples to "I can tell you just had a bikini wax" photos, this site has been rated TACKY by WNTC. I decided not to post the "just had a bikini wax" photos because they are just bad....really bad!

Saturday, February 4, 2006

Pointy Boob Bathing Suits

Do you remember those pointed bras from Madonna? Well, this designer has certainly been successful in achieving that look with crocheting. I feel a bit bad for this model...I'm mean it's obvious she's an amateur and probably getting paid next to nothing to model this for the designer but oh dear, oh my, how embarassing to pose in a bathing suit that makes your chest look pointed. Too funny!! Oh, the pattern only costs $2...wonder why? The finished product is usually a good indication how well the pattern was written and obviously, this is one bad pattern! And to make your model look 20 pounds heavier isn't a good sign either.
Link to this site provided by Naida...thanks!

Thursday, February 2, 2006

Pukey Purple Passion Poncho

Described as "flirty" and for beginner/intermediate crocheters and you can make it in a weekend!! And my oh my, what a fun-filled fabulous weekend it'd be! You can get this pattern for a mere $5.00 and who knows how much for the yarn? I see you will have to track yourself down some Fun Fur...because, well, we all know that crocheters love the Fun Fur...it's got to be the easiest (said with a smirk on my face) thing in this world to crochet with!! Oh hey, it's an "original design" too...
Respectfully submitted by a WNTC reader...thanks!

And don't you just love how "pukey" fits right in there with all the other "P" words... ;)

Monday, January 30, 2006

Table Doily Shawls

What's wrong with this picture? It's called an "Ice Crystal Shawl", however, when you look at it, isn't it really a table doily? Don't get me wrong...it's a gorgeous stitch and well made, however, it looks like she went to her Grandma's house, tore the doily off the closest table, put a pin on it and said "wow, look at me, a shawl!" and out for dinner she went... :|

Why do crochet designers do this? You can't tell me it's impossible to be a little more creative then taking something that's meant to be something else, changing it slightly, peddling it as a piece of clothing and pretending that's what it's supposed to be! Seen it with afghans too...with all those darn granny square items of clothing! It's supposed to be on your table and can look quite lovely there...but the secret is to leave it on your table...duh!
Link respectfully submitted by one of our WNTC readers...thanks!